His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I have post one night stand depression
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
