That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
