i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
And my parents said I crawled through the house
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
