What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
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