This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Sorry my hands just texted you
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
