She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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