i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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