great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Randomize
