69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
