Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Randomize
