I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
It's blow job season.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Randomize
