No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
