Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
