no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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