oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
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