atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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