Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
