i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Randomize
