i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
