when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
