I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
