found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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