i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
