I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
