So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
