If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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