I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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