I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
