the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
