Are we in a gay sports bar?
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
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