brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
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