Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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