I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
