So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
It's never too late to be topless.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize