Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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