I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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