last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Randomize
