You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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