Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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