Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
this will be a night to untag.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
