Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
