dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
