member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
