i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
