i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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