I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
