you would pick up someone in the library
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
