so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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