He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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