How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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