you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
