So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
