There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
