he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize