we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
