..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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