oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
