My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Randomize
