do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
