I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
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