There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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