On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize
