I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
