literally had 100 drinks last night.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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