I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
