Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
