This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
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