Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Don't make out with my wife yet
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
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