so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Randomize
