There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
