Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
