The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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