Kareoke will never be a sober sport
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Randomize
