ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Randomize
